Put the Phone Down. I've Said It Three Times.

Take the phone. Not forever — at dinner. Set it on the counter before you sit down. His phone, your husband’s phone, your phone. All of them. Put them face-down on the counter and eat your meal like it’s 2007.

You are the mean parents now. Congratulations. Mean parents have teenagers who grow up and call them. Permissive parents have teenagers who grow up and ignore them, just with better equipment.

Here’s the problem: you’ve asked him dozens of times and he’s learned that dozens of times is the consequence. He waits you out and eventually dinner ends. You’ve accidentally trained him that rolling his eyes is the correct response. The rule needs to change.

A clear rule: phones on the counter before dinner, returned after. No negotiation, no exceptions for “I’m just checking something important,” no drama. The first week will be dramatic. He’ll tell you it’s unfair. It is not unfair. You cooked dinner. He can look at you while he eats it.

You don’t have to be mean about it. Just be consistent, which is harder and more effective.

The eye-rolling is separate. That one’s just being 16. You can’t take the eye away. Give it two years.

— Vera