February 24, 2026
A Man in His Forties Knows What a Phone Is For
From: Fed Up on Forest Street, Georgetown
My husband's college friend moved to Georgetown six months ago. He shows up at our house unannounced two or three times a week — pulls into the driveway, rings the doorbell, expects dinner. My husband thinks I'm being unfriendly. I think a grown man in his forties should know how a phone works. Who's right?
You’re right. A man in his forties who can’t be bothered to call before he shows up at your door isn’t being friendly — he’s being inconsiderate, and your husband is letting him because it’s not costing your husband anything. It’s costing you.
Here’s the thing about having a friend over for dinner: somebody has to cook it. Somebody has to set a place. Somebody has to smile across the table when she’d rather be watching her show. That somebody is you, three times a week, without so much as a text message’s warning.
Your husband thinks you’re unfriendly because he’s not the one answering the door. Next time that truck pulls into the driveway, let your husband get it. Let your husband figure out what’s in the fridge. Go take a bath. Do that twice and I promise you your husband will discover he also has opinions about common courtesy.
You don’t have to be rude to the friend. You just have to stop making it comfortable. A warm welcome is earned. It’s not owed to a man who treats your house like an exit off the toll road.
— Vera
Got your own situation? Vera may not fix it, but she'll tell you what to do about it.
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